Valentine's Day, Not Just Another Hallmark Holiday

Here is a hint to those out there unaware of the fact that a very important day is almost upon us. (I suppose I am talking to the Male of the species. However those of you reading, who are not male, are more than welcome to continue.) Valentines Day is only eight days away. Now, pay close attention.

As a male of the species, I have to admit, I have forgotten my share of birthdays, anniversaries, special occasions and all that stuff. We all do. Some times I even amaze myself by not forgetting Christmas. There evidently is a gene tucked right in between the "Take your socks off and sniff them gene", and the "Walk away from the toilet with the seat up gene". I am, of course, talking about the "Oblivious to everything gene", which actually has the ability to block any and all significant dates in order of importance.

There are things that can be done though. Yes, there is hope. Sort of. But it takes effort. Some things we as the Male of the species can do, and of course, some things the Female of the species can do to help us along.

Guys, there is alot stored in our noggins already. Like every tool ever created by man, and their use. (Not that all of us can use them, but we sure do know what they are.) Detailed maps of everyplace in the world. (Ladies, that is why we never stop for directions. We know where everyplace you want to go is located. Always. We just have a hard time retrieving the information at a moments notice.) Oh, and the exact size of the bolt needed to fix the lawn mower that has been sitting broken for two years, in the garden shed. There is alot of vital information in there. Stop depending on your memory to remind you of important dates. The fact is, for every date you try to store in there, you unfortunately lose another piece of vital information. (Guess that's why I forgot about that stupid lawnmower in the garden shed until a minute ago.) Try this. Write stuff down.

No! Don't write it down on the corner of a bar napkin and stuff it in your wallet. The ink will run when you wash your jeans and forget to empty the pockets. Instead try this idea. Take a buck to the store and buy a little book of sticky notes and a pen. Write down the dates that are important, and stick the notes to things you look at everyday. Your tool box, the inside of your windshield, or on the last can of the six pack in the fridge. Ladies, you can help also. Little notes in the lunch, a note on the bathroom mirror, or perhaps to the underside of the toilet lid. (But don't be surprised if the latter suggestion causes problems with the aim issue.)

Once you begin to mark in the book, check it everyday. You will be suprised when you actually start hitting a few of the "Special Occasions" that, evidently are important to at least one other human being. If you wish to get real fancy, try using the note book in conjunction with the calender in the kitchen that hopefully has been updated sometime in the last twelve months. In keeping with the season, and more importantly, this article, lets try this exercise.

Take out your stickey notes and write down, February 14th is Valentine's Day. Now look at February on the calender and find the 14th. Now count from the day it is that you do this exercise, to the 14th. That is how many days you have to figure out a gift and purchase it. (Ignore this exercise if it is after the 14th when you read this. If that is the case, you already blew it, and now you know the reason you have been living in your garage for the last few days.)

Don't let it be said that I have dropped the ball here. Now that you know about the upcoming holiday, let me further help you to understand that this particular upcoming holiday is a biggy. Yup, right up there with the old anniversary. Oh, don't fool yourself. Even if you aren't married, there are anniversaries. If you are in a relationship, there are anniversaries, married or not. (Which probably explains the knot on the forehead you received for your blank stare in response to the question, "Do you know what day it is today?")

This day, while not as important as an anniversary, (Of which there are several anniversary subcategories we will talk about someother time.) it is second on the list. This is a romantic, squishy, warm and fuzzy holiday. I know it is disgusting, but deal with it. Hopefully you aren't one of those guys that only expresses sentiment on this day alone, but if you are, then here's your chance to really hit it big. Yah, good luck with that.

Perhaps some not-to-do things. No gifting tools. No matter how cute, or pink, or handy, or light. No kitchen appliances, no matter how shiney, how useful the box says it is, or how big the picture shows the smile of the person operating the appliance on the box. Don't buy it. No Sporting Goods, like bowling balls, baseball gloves, tennis balls, hockey masks, boxing gloves, golf clubs or baseball bats. Well, you can if you want. Just be forwarned, all aforementioned items can be used as weapons. Actually, let me make it easier. If it is something that holds any potential of being useful to you, walk away from the item. Do not buy it. This is a lousy Valentine's gift.

Oh, and stay away from that stuff you saw at the mall. You know, the little frillie stuff. They look pretty and all that, but some of that stuff is, from what I understand, very uncomfortable. If you are not gonna wear it, don't buy it. Let them buy their own frillies because they will pick out things they like and will wear. In fact, take them to the mall and when they pick out their favorite things, you pay for them. Wow. What a novel idea.

Well, that should pretty much cover it.

I'm just sayin.